My sister's theory of me being found under a shrub as a baby is looking more and more plausible. :) Turns out, that my other two siblings that we tested for a potential donor match..... were both non-matches. Four siblings, mo matchy. Ah well.... I would have had to be nice to whomever was my donor for the rest of my life. I'm not sure I could have stuck to that creed with a sibling. :) jk.
So, from here forward, guess what? More waiting... YES! It's my favorite. If I'm needing to learn one thing from this experience, I betcha its patience... and wow, I am SO not learning it yet. :) They will be starting the search for a donor through the National Donor Database in the next couple days and we will see what we can see... They say at minimum it will be 6-8 weeks. Which is actually better than the 5-6 MONTHS that I had originally been told. Not to say that it WON'T be 5-6 months, still, but the possibility of sooner is oh so heartening.:) So, like I said, more waiting.
While I'm waiting, however, my doctors and I have discussed the possibility of other treatment options. The one that is both most appealing and most probable, is a drug trial out of SCCA in Seattle. Unknown still as to whether I would have to be IN Seattle to be in this trial or if we could have it administered and monitored here at MSTI in Boise. ~shrug~ Guess I'll find that out soon enough. :/
One more note.... I have been asked a lot lately about my emotions. I can't form any of my emotions into one word or even a couple word phrase. I don't think I could really even articulate them very well without assistance from outside sources. So, ONE outside source is an artist named Kerli. One of her songs that I love very much has the following chorus: " Life is my creation, is my best friend. Imagination is my defense. And I'll keep walking when skies are gray, whatever happens was meant that way." This may not make sense to everyone, but, to me, it expresses SOME of what I am feeling. Life is what we make it and how it was MEANT to be, even though sometimes thing get gray or difficult, meh, we use our imagination and faith, and it's still a great life. :)
I don't have any fears about this situation, only faith.
Love you all and thank you again for your continued support and friendship. I will let you know soon about the "meantime" treatment. :)
P.H.O., Dani
Wednesday 30 March 2011
Monday 7 March 2011
Disqualified......
Yup, you guessed it. I got the call today. My siblings J and J were officially disqualified from the running of being my donor...... To be completely candid. I did sit at my desk and shed a few salties. It wasn't totally unexpected, but I was SO hoping that this process would be easy. Who was I trying to fool? :/ It's ok though. Henry Ellis once said, "All the art of living, lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." I think that I will become proficient at letting go and holding on at the same time.
I think my sister J was slightly relieved... and my brother J was a little disappointed. Silly people. I bet secretly they are both saying... whew, I knew that I couldn't be anything like HER.... eek. :) No, just kidding. They are both such lovely people and would have been more than willing to give me their marrow, but as of now, no need from them. :)
So, progressing forward. J and M will get their turn to see if they are like me now. I think that my sister M is silently (as opposed to loudly) crossing her fingers that she won't be the match. She is pregnant and wouldn't be able to donate till late fall at the earliest. I don't think she wants me to have to wait that long. I personally would be honored to have her bone marrow.. not sure one has anything to do with the other, but maybe, just maybe... If I get M's marrow I WILL be able to have my own children post transplant :) She's got 7.5 so that gives me a good chance eh? :) hee hee... maybe not, but I can "silently" cross my fingers too can't I? :)
Anyhoooooooo..... on other notes... There has been an OVERWHELMING response to my so-called need and the gifts that have been given have been such a HUGE relief already. :) We are not as concerned about covering my insurance premiums while I am not working, or figuring out how to pay for suitable living conditions in Seattle.. All of you have helped SO much! I owe you all so much in return and that is such a hard thing for me.. there's not a really great way to say thank you for giving. I couldn't ask for a better group of people with which to be surrounded. So, thanks again. :)
So, moving forward with the testing... Dealing with the ups and downs of every day. Literally, I have NO clue how I will feel until I wake up.. Every single day is a new batch of surprises. I am still working full-time... TAX SEASON!!! eek, busy, but it's also nice to be occupied all day long. I feel blessed that I still have that for now. :) Until I hear about these next two siblings and their results, we will continue on the medicine regime that I am on currently. I DID have to reduce my chemo drug a bit, it was making my blood freak out. :) of course... :) But other than that... I am doing alright. yay me. :) Next week is my excursion to Seattle for some fun family time and a wedding! WOOT! I can't wait! Some apartment hunting and maybe a meeting with the docs.. who knows... but most of all, hanging with my family whom I love more than ANYTHING. I have to tell you, I pretty much have the coolest family EVER and I don't think anyone could change my mind about that:) K, I'm out.. I need to go eat my chicken pot pie.. YUMMMMMM :)
I think my sister J was slightly relieved... and my brother J was a little disappointed. Silly people. I bet secretly they are both saying... whew, I knew that I couldn't be anything like HER.... eek. :) No, just kidding. They are both such lovely people and would have been more than willing to give me their marrow, but as of now, no need from them. :)
So, progressing forward. J and M will get their turn to see if they are like me now. I think that my sister M is silently (as opposed to loudly) crossing her fingers that she won't be the match. She is pregnant and wouldn't be able to donate till late fall at the earliest. I don't think she wants me to have to wait that long. I personally would be honored to have her bone marrow.. not sure one has anything to do with the other, but maybe, just maybe... If I get M's marrow I WILL be able to have my own children post transplant :) She's got 7.5 so that gives me a good chance eh? :) hee hee... maybe not, but I can "silently" cross my fingers too can't I? :)
Anyhoooooooo..... on other notes... There has been an OVERWHELMING response to my so-called need and the gifts that have been given have been such a HUGE relief already. :) We are not as concerned about covering my insurance premiums while I am not working, or figuring out how to pay for suitable living conditions in Seattle.. All of you have helped SO much! I owe you all so much in return and that is such a hard thing for me.. there's not a really great way to say thank you for giving. I couldn't ask for a better group of people with which to be surrounded. So, thanks again. :)
So, moving forward with the testing... Dealing with the ups and downs of every day. Literally, I have NO clue how I will feel until I wake up.. Every single day is a new batch of surprises. I am still working full-time... TAX SEASON!!! eek, busy, but it's also nice to be occupied all day long. I feel blessed that I still have that for now. :) Until I hear about these next two siblings and their results, we will continue on the medicine regime that I am on currently. I DID have to reduce my chemo drug a bit, it was making my blood freak out. :) of course... :) But other than that... I am doing alright. yay me. :) Next week is my excursion to Seattle for some fun family time and a wedding! WOOT! I can't wait! Some apartment hunting and maybe a meeting with the docs.. who knows... but most of all, hanging with my family whom I love more than ANYTHING. I have to tell you, I pretty much have the coolest family EVER and I don't think anyone could change my mind about that:) K, I'm out.. I need to go eat my chicken pot pie.. YUMMMMMM :)
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